Just got back from swan, met with loads of frens back there, nowhere like home. Place is small, traffic is light, a place where I wanna be but not this trip.
Went back on Monday nite after work. I didn’t wanna drive so Michael (swan mate) drove back, with two more swan mates. We were just chatting in the car and catching up. The journey was long cos mic wanna have a safe drive home. I was restless in the car cos am not use to sit in a long journey without touching the wheels.... me bugging so hard for mic to let me drive but he jus dun wanna me to drive cos he knows I will speed... hahaha... jus sit back and toss around lo.
Arrived at my home town, always was a happy moment when saw the two stretch of shop lots in Kg Koh but this time everyone was so quiet in the car. The place is so small even i couldn’t catch my breath, the junction to the house is just ahead. Took the turn and saw cars, cars, cars parking along the road. Our car move even slower and atmosphere was really dull in the car. Just hope that it is not happening, got a parking and walk towards the house. Saw other frens there and greeted all of them. Saw the casket, and we walk towards it. Heart was rolling fast n hard, approached the coffin and look down. saw his face, almost couldn’t recognize him cos it was badly distorted. My heart jus cried out.... ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My tear jus couldn’t flow out at all... speechless and null for a moment... my frens push me away cos they were behind me and wanted to see him for the last time.
Aint a moment everyone was looking forward to see. Ai ling just broke down in tears.... I was blur thru out the whole nite and went back to my aunt’s blur. Totally blur........
Yesterday was the funeral, there were so many ppl... more than the nite before. more frens were there. If u ask me hows the funeral, well ok lah.. like other funerals lo... how to say the funeral was good if it isn’t a good thing to attend at all. Paid my last respect and one thing flashed my mind, and deep within me I know he is smiling up there with the Father above. It was just a relieve.
This is the time to cherish every moment u can spend time with the one u love. A simple smile and a simple care for ur fren before u cant even do it. Luv u all out there. Cheers.....
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Monday, August 16, 2004
moment of silence part I
have not been updating my site for a while. dunno where to start but something happened yesterday morning. i got a sms from my fren, a home town sitiawan fren. the message went “got a shocking news this morning, Bik Hun was involved in a bus accident jus now, he didn’t make it”. my heart broke, was with my gf and she ask me dozens of times what was going on but I just stand there in silence for very long. no tears running down my cheeks but deep within I was crying...
Bik Hun, a kind hearted, polite, unselfish, humble, loving, nice, good looking, I can go on forever but the most of all, his faithful devoted passion for Christ. he is one of my oldest frens in my life. Meet him in a small housing estate Taman Hijau, Sitiawan when I was 7 years old. Went to the same school ACS, play guli every single evening, cycle together, friendship was going well when my dad decided to migrate to Sabah so my whole family went there.... completely no contact with him for years till one chinese new year after my secondary years, I went back to sitiawan to catch up with frens. cos I remember where he stayed so cycle to his house to c if he is still staying there. Yes he still stay in the small single storey link house. ask for him and his mom said that he is out for basketball at Wesley Meth church. I cycled all the way to Wesley to meet him and I saw him. immediately I know its him, his face never change. that time they were having some ping pong competition. I remember that time he signed me in for it and played double with him. the hospitality that he gave was unconditional.
It was like 8 years ago and it is still fresh in my mind. cos his life impacted me, he makes me feel so at home even when I myself dun feel I belong to sitiawan any more. years goes by and our relationship went deeper. saw him last Sunday at Planet Shakers concert as well jus manage to talk awhile cos he was with his church mates. that was the last time I saw him. he is dear to my heart. I love u brother and ur passion will carry on in the peoples life that u have impacted. c u in heaven..
had my usual pool session with my sitiawan frens in club7 last nite but last nite was the biggest gathering there. lots of swan mate was there to just catch up. one was on her way there and involved in an car pile accident. a road was under construction and the roads are slippery and few cars was skidded and her car was in the middle and crash with the rest. the car was wreck but thank God she escape unwounded. i dun think I can take it if she was taken away.
life is fragile, very fragile. what am I doing now??? Am I being who am i? have I live my life to the fullness... its Monday today and trying to get myself together to do my work but deep within I am not doing good now. still recovering from the shocking news. jus couldn’t believe it but I need to accept the truth.
the funeral is tomolo and I am going back later after work. I am heading nowhere but need to get back to work.
Bik Hun, a kind hearted, polite, unselfish, humble, loving, nice, good looking, I can go on forever but the most of all, his faithful devoted passion for Christ. he is one of my oldest frens in my life. Meet him in a small housing estate Taman Hijau, Sitiawan when I was 7 years old. Went to the same school ACS, play guli every single evening, cycle together, friendship was going well when my dad decided to migrate to Sabah so my whole family went there.... completely no contact with him for years till one chinese new year after my secondary years, I went back to sitiawan to catch up with frens. cos I remember where he stayed so cycle to his house to c if he is still staying there. Yes he still stay in the small single storey link house. ask for him and his mom said that he is out for basketball at Wesley Meth church. I cycled all the way to Wesley to meet him and I saw him. immediately I know its him, his face never change. that time they were having some ping pong competition. I remember that time he signed me in for it and played double with him. the hospitality that he gave was unconditional.
It was like 8 years ago and it is still fresh in my mind. cos his life impacted me, he makes me feel so at home even when I myself dun feel I belong to sitiawan any more. years goes by and our relationship went deeper. saw him last Sunday at Planet Shakers concert as well jus manage to talk awhile cos he was with his church mates. that was the last time I saw him. he is dear to my heart. I love u brother and ur passion will carry on in the peoples life that u have impacted. c u in heaven..
had my usual pool session with my sitiawan frens in club7 last nite but last nite was the biggest gathering there. lots of swan mate was there to just catch up. one was on her way there and involved in an car pile accident. a road was under construction and the roads are slippery and few cars was skidded and her car was in the middle and crash with the rest. the car was wreck but thank God she escape unwounded. i dun think I can take it if she was taken away.
life is fragile, very fragile. what am I doing now??? Am I being who am i? have I live my life to the fullness... its Monday today and trying to get myself together to do my work but deep within I am not doing good now. still recovering from the shocking news. jus couldn’t believe it but I need to accept the truth.
the funeral is tomolo and I am going back later after work. I am heading nowhere but need to get back to work.
Monday, August 09, 2004
friend???? u have one? i found an ultimate one
story below sent by a fren... hope u all enjoy reading it. peace.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates t han I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later an d was carryin g his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
end.
Jesus is the ultimate fren of all. he took the step to the cross without any complaints even it takes so much effort and cost. why cant we just smile to someone one the raod.... mayb with jus that it will make a world of difference for that person. be encourage for there are ppl around who will encourage u.
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." I need u all and help me to remind myself of me being the person that will lift u up. cheers.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates t han I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later an d was carryin g his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life.
For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.
end.
Jesus is the ultimate fren of all. he took the step to the cross without any complaints even it takes so much effort and cost. why cant we just smile to someone one the raod.... mayb with jus that it will make a world of difference for that person. be encourage for there are ppl around who will encourage u.
"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly." I need u all and help me to remind myself of me being the person that will lift u up. cheers.
Shaken by Shakers
weekend was superb.... saturday was having a headache, went back home early due to the agony. mom is the greatest person on earth.... saw me in pain and boiled Hor Yan Ho tea for me.... after the drinking it, i was completely heal... hahahahaha.
sat nite went for the Jazz Festival in Mont Kiara, cos heard that the percussion team led by Mark was good. nothing very grand but they ended it really well by not playing Jazz but a jamaican drum beats. i think am not a jazz person..... :p
Planet Shakers was in town. City Church KL organized the whole thing and rented CLC (my church) for their appearance. they shook the whole sanctuary..... very very good band, especially the drummer's kicking.....
another team from Planet Shakers will be coming in september 2004 and December for the PS seminar... visi their website for information.... so dun miss it ok....
sat nite went for the Jazz Festival in Mont Kiara, cos heard that the percussion team led by Mark was good. nothing very grand but they ended it really well by not playing Jazz but a jamaican drum beats. i think am not a jazz person..... :p
Planet Shakers was in town. City Church KL organized the whole thing and rented CLC (my church) for their appearance. they shook the whole sanctuary..... very very good band, especially the drummer's kicking.....
another team from Planet Shakers will be coming in september 2004 and December for the PS seminar... visi their website for information.... so dun miss it ok....
Saturday, August 07, 2004
12 hours but not enuf
yesterday was a mad day, went down to malacca with sam to follow up on a project, didnt do much thing there but dunno y me head is giving me a bad time... wanna come back home early to rest but waiting for a meeting at 230pm. after the meeting, manage to get onto the car at 4 plus.
tut can lay back and rest my head but before i could get to the passenger seat, sam gave me the signal to drive. so i got to the driver's seat and make myself comfortable. head is still burning but cos was excited to go home it gets better, journey started and thank God driving makes me feel good and my headache is all gone.... happily dringing all the way back and before reaching back to office to get my car. i turn down the air-con cos it is freezing my hands.... but the passengers behind the car is complaining the temp is too high so need to turn it back on again. couldnt blame them cos the weather was hot at that time....
the cold starts to spread from my hand to my body and all the way to my head.... it was like only 10mins driving in that torture driving brings back my headache. it was getting bad... very bad till i need to take a nap on my table when back to office before i head home.
the nap didnt help at all but anyway better rest at home than laying on my desk. got home, took pain killer and drop dead on my bed at 7pm. eyes opened at 10pm, looking around and see if my head is still pain or not. well it was ok till i got up on my feet. the pain went up again like wanna smash my head with a hammer..... ishhh... drag myself to wash up cos i am dirty and hungry. and wish the shower can help a bit... too bad it is still the same.
back to bed without anything in my tummy cos the pain is torturing me. woke up by my dad at bout 4am. he was sleeping in my room last nite. didnt even know that cos my dad arrives at 11ish from sabah. i think have enuf sleep d so get up to do some things, better than laying down on my bed. got on my feet and again the pain came back.... but what the hack, when down stairs make myself a hot drink, sit on the couch, on the tv and seach thru the movie list and took shrek 1 out and watch it.
couldnt take the pain so went back to sleep on the couch. waken at 7am by mom and dad was awake and talking in the living room, didnt wanna open my eyes till nette hold my hand and call me up. she wanted to go back to malacca so i need to drive her down to pudu bus station.
woke up, wash up, talk a while with parents and off i go. oh yes the pain is still ringing in my head. drive to pudu and back in office now, took out my phones and have 15 missed calls and 6 sms. now headache to call all of them back and tell them what happened. my head still burning now.... off i go now till then..... do pray for me, thanks mate.
tut can lay back and rest my head but before i could get to the passenger seat, sam gave me the signal to drive. so i got to the driver's seat and make myself comfortable. head is still burning but cos was excited to go home it gets better, journey started and thank God driving makes me feel good and my headache is all gone.... happily dringing all the way back and before reaching back to office to get my car. i turn down the air-con cos it is freezing my hands.... but the passengers behind the car is complaining the temp is too high so need to turn it back on again. couldnt blame them cos the weather was hot at that time....
the cold starts to spread from my hand to my body and all the way to my head.... it was like only 10mins driving in that torture driving brings back my headache. it was getting bad... very bad till i need to take a nap on my table when back to office before i head home.
the nap didnt help at all but anyway better rest at home than laying on my desk. got home, took pain killer and drop dead on my bed at 7pm. eyes opened at 10pm, looking around and see if my head is still pain or not. well it was ok till i got up on my feet. the pain went up again like wanna smash my head with a hammer..... ishhh... drag myself to wash up cos i am dirty and hungry. and wish the shower can help a bit... too bad it is still the same.
back to bed without anything in my tummy cos the pain is torturing me. woke up by my dad at bout 4am. he was sleeping in my room last nite. didnt even know that cos my dad arrives at 11ish from sabah. i think have enuf sleep d so get up to do some things, better than laying down on my bed. got on my feet and again the pain came back.... but what the hack, when down stairs make myself a hot drink, sit on the couch, on the tv and seach thru the movie list and took shrek 1 out and watch it.
couldnt take the pain so went back to sleep on the couch. waken at 7am by mom and dad was awake and talking in the living room, didnt wanna open my eyes till nette hold my hand and call me up. she wanted to go back to malacca so i need to drive her down to pudu bus station.
woke up, wash up, talk a while with parents and off i go. oh yes the pain is still ringing in my head. drive to pudu and back in office now, took out my phones and have 15 missed calls and 6 sms. now headache to call all of them back and tell them what happened. my head still burning now.... off i go now till then..... do pray for me, thanks mate.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
hot hot day
been out of office today, was not a good day to travel in the car at this type of weather.... the sun rays are just like piercing thru my skin and all the way to my bones. moreover my car air-con aint working as usual, hot hot hot is the only thing on my mind. what to do still need to go to customer's place in bangi to get more sales in.
the day ended pretty late and due to the weather i was weared out completely. thank God my gf had a training after work and i was not late to pick her up. but seems like i have to wait for her instead at her office cos the training started late and i waited till 715pm.
its thrusday and i have a Life Fellowship (LF) to go to. yup its a cell group. a place where i belong to and where my family will meet. it starts at 8pm and i rush all the way back home, take a shower and way i go again...... day never ends for me.
LF was good. really really good. the thing that came to my alertness was when mae said that there wont be any agenda for the nite, it is just a nite to spend time together and waste time with God.... hahaha... we started to share our thoughts out. everyone of us.
something to chew for the week (something that reminded me of). remember the old days where we strive our way thru our studies, went thru sleepless nites before exams and just feel like it is not happenning and wont wanna face it at all. but in the end we still make it thru. it is quite amazing the things that we did in the past which u think it can never be done it by you. well u done it. even as for now, even we face problems, just wish that it will just wipe out from the face of the earth but again we still need to go thru it.
It is again our walk with God, sometimes seems so hard to go on and all other things are not in favor of u carrying on the journey.... dun give up, press on and it will be history. and one day u will look back and something u can be proud of. luv.......
the day ended pretty late and due to the weather i was weared out completely. thank God my gf had a training after work and i was not late to pick her up. but seems like i have to wait for her instead at her office cos the training started late and i waited till 715pm.
its thrusday and i have a Life Fellowship (LF) to go to. yup its a cell group. a place where i belong to and where my family will meet. it starts at 8pm and i rush all the way back home, take a shower and way i go again...... day never ends for me.
LF was good. really really good. the thing that came to my alertness was when mae said that there wont be any agenda for the nite, it is just a nite to spend time together and waste time with God.... hahaha... we started to share our thoughts out. everyone of us.
something to chew for the week (something that reminded me of). remember the old days where we strive our way thru our studies, went thru sleepless nites before exams and just feel like it is not happenning and wont wanna face it at all. but in the end we still make it thru. it is quite amazing the things that we did in the past which u think it can never be done it by you. well u done it. even as for now, even we face problems, just wish that it will just wipe out from the face of the earth but again we still need to go thru it.
It is again our walk with God, sometimes seems so hard to go on and all other things are not in favor of u carrying on the journey.... dun give up, press on and it will be history. and one day u will look back and something u can be proud of. luv.......
Pasta for dinner
had pasta for dinner... ehem, my dear dear cooked for me.... she was preparing the food and me sitting down doing nothing...... thats the girl i want. hahaha. how can i just let her do everything? need to sayang her also rite? help her in everyway i can. me luv u b, and i luv ur cooking. muaaaacksss.....
what a day, just got back from pool with Sam (my boss), stef, and my bro... had a good time. Sam u long time didnt play d lah.... a bit rusty but still good, jus need some practise. dunno y lah am still really really alert. think need to force myself to bed if not tomolo will be a zombie in office.... nite nite mates....
what a day, just got back from pool with Sam (my boss), stef, and my bro... had a good time. Sam u long time didnt play d lah.... a bit rusty but still good, jus need some practise. dunno y lah am still really really alert. think need to force myself to bed if not tomolo will be a zombie in office.... nite nite mates....
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
Against the ODDs
My first ever blog site.... hahahahaaha ya i know what i ever said before to bloggers (some may know.) but after some consideration i shall try it out but again this blog will not use against what i stand and believe.
Y i against blogging??? first it is a place where you write about what u think, what ur heart says, share information, u name it. you do this when u have no one to share it to. you are lonely. ya i am now... hahahaha... is not that but it is a place where i can share it and hope that what i gone thru in life can help readers to learn from it.
secondly, blog violates someones privacy. is a place where rumours and gossip always take place. it is suppose to be a place where both outputs and inputs to be taken place but not only one direction. I shall not make this place as a place of gossip but a place of uplifting and encouraging to others.
Here I go, people..... Cheers mate.
Y i against blogging??? first it is a place where you write about what u think, what ur heart says, share information, u name it. you do this when u have no one to share it to. you are lonely. ya i am now... hahahaha... is not that but it is a place where i can share it and hope that what i gone thru in life can help readers to learn from it.
secondly, blog violates someones privacy. is a place where rumours and gossip always take place. it is suppose to be a place where both outputs and inputs to be taken place but not only one direction. I shall not make this place as a place of gossip but a place of uplifting and encouraging to others.
Here I go, people..... Cheers mate.
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